Time to Travel

I wish I could blog something these days.

I want to express myself. I want to be inspired to write something. I'm not so busy I don't have time to blog. I'm blocked. I can feel something inside of me that wants to come out, but it hasn't made itself clear to me.

This scenario is playing out in other aspects of my life. I've been partaking in some energy work recently, to unblock channels in my body, especially in my hips and lower abdomen, where I tend to hold my tension. And don't we all know about hips right? Since my last session with my energy worker, I have been pretty emotional, to either end of the spectrum and back. Crying in the middle of yoga class, or needlessly outraged because I've been minorly inconvenienced. My patience has absolutely gone out the window. And Universe, please forgive me for these days I've spent backtracking through my work on compassion. Honestly, I feel a bit like I need an exorcism. This energy is waking up inside me and I'm adjusting to it slowly. I see this opportunity as one to discover new things about myself, my body, and as an opportunity to cleanse and find genuine purity in my life.

Part of me is frightened of what I'm going to meet the more I focus on it. Things I thought I'd laid to rest? Things I hoped to never come up against again? Things that may completely blindside me?

So it's safe to say there's some fear, or maybe apprehension is a better word for it. But here's what I know: tonight, I was engaged in a rather dull, yet somewhat cathartic activity at work. Despite it being a task I considered pretty mind numbing, I found myself intensely present in despite of that. Of course, it's only in these moments of Quiet, wherever we happen to find them, that we are able to Hear. And that's when I heard. I am on the brink of something here. Something major. There is a transformation going on in and around me. I don't know what it consists of and I don't know where it's leading me. But what I heard was that it is big and it is good. Far outweighing my apprehensions is this overwhelming sense of peace, sense of calm. That wonderful feeling of knowing I'll be taken care of by the Universe. It's what I can only describe as true Faith.

What I'm conscious of is that the road may be rocky, but I'm headed in the right direction. I was never one to take the easy path, anyway.

So just in case you wonder where I've gone, I'm on a journey at present, and I'll be sending postcards along the way...

The Good

Well I'm back from my Refugee Adventures. For the past 5 days my roommate, Natasha, her son and I have been making the rounds in Evansville and Henderson, KY borrowing couches and heat and electricity from generous folks who were willing and able to share. Last night our electricity came back on and it was the greatest relief I've known in quite some time. Morale was taking a steep decline on Sunday so the restoration really couldn't have come at a better time.

It was easy to find something to complain about in all of this, but I think that we all did a bang up job and staying positive and avoiding the slippery slope that would have been moping. So as I'm thinking back on the past almost-week, I want to remember the good things that came out of it because, as it turns out, a lot of good really did come from this experience.

For instance, my roommate and I got to know each other real quick-like. If it hadn't been for this situation, it would've taken a lot longer for she and I to develop our relationship. This really got us over the "adjusting to each other" hump at an accelerated speed. Having said as much, I can't leave this subject without expressing my gratitude to her for taking me with her everywhere and making sure I had a place to be warm as well. If I hadn't been in this house with her, I would've surely been at a shelter or something and much less comfortable.

I'm also grateful because through this it turns out that my roommate and I get along quite well and so I feel like it was divine intervention that I found this house and this person. This whole situation is going to be so good for me, I'm convinced of it.

Next: I like a kid. Yes folks. I live with a boy who is about to be 4 years old and I quite enjoy his company. It's weird. And after these 5 days, I found myself going to work and going on and on about stuff he did or said or how well he was handling everything. I mean, it was close to gushing. I don't pretend to understand it, it's just happened.

Moving on: Through Natasha, I was able to meet such a magnificent group of people who are involved in wonderful things for this community and who I think will be so beneficial to my own personal development. I'd again like to reiterate my new-found belief in divine intervention. I don't see how it could have happened any other way. I really feel like I was led here and for a reason. These are exactly the types of people that I want to surround myself with and if it hadn't been for the storm I may have never found them.

Also, I was given the chance to volunteer for the Red Cross for part of 2 days and help them out at their disaster shelters. It was humbling and I think if it hadn't been for that, for the chance to be active and help others, I would have begun complaining a lot sooner than I did. I felt so lucky to have a warm bed or couch every night throughout this ordeal. I was well fed and able to shower. And I think, most importantly, I wasn't alone. If I was still in my apartment and this had happened, I might have gone to the Red Cross to ask for help instead of to offer it and I would've gone there alone. Instead I was lucky enough to be surrounded by great, great people and together we were able to try to make the lives of those in the shelter a little bit more comfortable.

All in all, this situation gave me the opportunity to recognize the things in my life I should be grateful for. And it really has made me question the validity of divine intervention in my life. For me, it seems like all of this was handed to me on a silver platter, if you will. I was here in my new residence being pretty isolationist and not really making many moves to connect with my roommate. All the while she was there, with all of those people I got to meet, and I had no idea what I was missing out on. It just feels to me like this was a less-than-subtle nudge in the right direction. It's a nudge I certainly do not plan on ignoring. I feel more attached to Evansville than I have before right now. I feel like I could be a part of very, very good things here. Things I wanted to be a part of that I thought I'd have to leave in order to do. I feel like the horizons have opened up before me with more opportunity once more and it's a very, very good feeling.